With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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