She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
