you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
