dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
