he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
