Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This is classic penis vs brain.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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