Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You've changed since you got that strap on
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
