All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
