no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
