I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
this hospital has no fireball
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize