Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Too much gin, very little bucket
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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