billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
