It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
