She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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