I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
