i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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