he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
