yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
