Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
