but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
