addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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