Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have fence marks all over my body
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
