Its about making memories worth repressing
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
