you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They took my balls.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Damn victory sex feels great
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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