guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
