Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
