Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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