Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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