so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
