I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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