redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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