I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
