Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
