The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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