No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
