I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
