i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
