he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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