Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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