The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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