A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
