That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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