That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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