well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
