I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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