I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
