"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
