That's when you crack a 10am beer
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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