I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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