Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
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