we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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